VELCRO dog is a phrase I've become accustom to hearing and using. It is commonly used in connection with golden retrievers, although it is not only goldens that fit into this category. Velcro dog usually refers to a dog who is your constant shadow, you know the ones that follow your every move.
Still, within the term "Velcro dog" there are many different degrees of Velcro-ism. There are the dogs who are constantly beside you, no matter which way you turn. The dogs that need to be in the same room as you, dogs that need to be touching you and the most intense velcro dog, the lap or arm dog. The last two categories can become a problem and it is these two categories I am talking about.
Most dogs love their guardian - we guardians are a substitute for our dog's pack. So it makes complete sense for them to follow us around when they can. Watching a documentary on wolves, you will see the same following behaviour. Alpha stands up and walks away, the pack follows. Alpha lies down and gets comfortable, the pack relaxes for a rest. Even in a pack of wolves you may see an insecure member needing reassurance through constant contact.
If you believe that you have a velcro dog, take a good hard look at the signs. If your dog becomes anxious if you are not touching or holding it, you have a problem. Does your dog constantly seek your attention through eye contact, pawing, muzzle nudging or barking? Do you oblige and offer your dog the attention it seeks? You may have a bigger problem than you think.
Dogs are amazingly intelligent and can have us doing things we really don't even know we are doing. Many of my clients are shocked to hear the number of times they are doing what their dog is telling them to do. Giving in to all of your dog's attention-seeking behaviours can create an insecure, anxious and demanding dog, one that is not so great to live with. Leaving your dog alone can also become an issue if it is accustomed to constant attention when you are around.
Time to start ignoring your velcro furry friend. Now I know what you are thinking, I hear it all the time. "That's so mean, I can't."
Believe me, you can and you will want to start right now or it will only get worse. I am not recommending cruel treatment, just some separation so that your dog can learn to deal on its own. Any attention seeking behaviours are to be ignored, completely. No giving your dog eye contact, touch or conversation. The only way they get attention is by going off and busying themselves with something other than you.
Ignoring a dog that is accustomed to getting attention for certain behaviours usually develops worse behaviours before they start to ease up. Up until now, seeking attention has worked. They may not think you see them or hear them so will up the volume or persistence. You must stand strong and not give in. The frantic behaviour will stop as they realise it is not working.
Put that dog down. That's right, out of your arms, off your lap and on the ground where they can learn to deal with things. Many small dog owners tend to scoop up their dogs far too often, leading to a dog that does not know how to deal with issues unless in your arms. Yes you have to protect a small dog more often than a large dog, but they will never be all the dog they can be in your arms.
Now, how do you get your dog away from you to start the separation? A solid "stay" is a must if you want to have any alone time away from your dog. Start by teaching a stay at close proximity and work at building distance. Once you have distance, start building the time away from your dog. You must enforce the stay by returning your dog to the original stay spot.
When you do return them, do not have a nice conversation with them, just bring them back and remind them to stay. Use yummy treats to reward solid stays - they really want to come with you so staying is very big. As well as treat rewards use praise. Praise them calmly when you are away from them and treat when you return.
A confident dog is a happy dog and we all want our dogs to be happy. Building a dog's confidence can take a lot of work, but it is well worth the effort. Let your dog be the great dog it was meant to be, by not coddling it.
